I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
