He disabled his match.com account in front of me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
And then he peed in my hair
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