So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
