So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
