THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
