i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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