I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize