Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
