The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
