his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
