Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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