Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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