I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
P.S. I can't hear my feet
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
