Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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