Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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