Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

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  (607): I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them. http://tfl.nu/ng5q
  Replies (9) Good night (2974) Bad night (818)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them

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  (617): were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them http://tfl.nu/uwjn
  Replies (56) Good night (5000) Bad night (744)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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  (248): Public safety found my id! (248): And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had. http://tfl.nu/apb6
  Replies (15) Good night (5389) Bad night (647)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament

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  (502): It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament http://tfl.nu/u7ze
  Replies (23) Good night (3252) Bad night (916)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."

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  (908): While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you." http://tfl.nu/7a3m
  Replies (55) Good night (27187) Bad night (2603)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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  (218): Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there. http://tfl.nu/e7vr
  Replies (8) Good night (1317) Bad night (2336)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

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  (719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq
  Replies (21) Good night (6813) Bad night (1371)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.

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  (210): It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after. http://tfl.nu/tury
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (1482)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

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  (337): You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left. http://tfl.nu/h7ai
  Replies (3) Good night (1676) Bad night (598)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

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  (+44): I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye. http://tfl.nu/9vv3
  Replies (5) Good night (1668) Bad night (2037)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

  (863): View more from Florida

  I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

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  (240): Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister? (863): I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on http://tfl.nu/xj2m
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (1468)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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  (706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl
  Replies (4) Good night (1366) Bad night (387)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.

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  (406): We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors. http://tfl.nu/7kjk
  Replies (11) Good night (1098) Bad night (450)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me

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  (731): He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me http://tfl.nu/hoyn
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (351)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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  (608): He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case?? http://tfl.nu/iqff
  Replies (4) Good night (344) Bad night (482)

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