how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner