Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?

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  (317): question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay? http://tfl.nu/r2f8
  Replies (63) Good night (3210) Bad night (635)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

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  (386): after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time. http://tfl.nu/767v
  Replies (59) Good night (36151) Bad night (1144)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.

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  (207): winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer. http://tfl.nu/n491
  Replies (8) Good night (2705) Bad night (839)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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  (917): I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina http://tfl.nu/sexo
  Replies (71) Good night (6681) Bad night (865)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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  (314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv
  Replies (6) Good night (4175) Bad night (1153)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.

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  (717): Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/70l7
  Replies (10) Good night (4825) Bad night (860)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.

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  (416): We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water. http://tfl.nu/lb4i
  Replies (6) Good night (2710) Bad night (720)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

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  (843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r
  Replies (10) Good night (4396) Bad night (800)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?

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  (410): So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed. (443): YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT? http://tfl.nu/cgqa
  Replies (14) Good night (4233) Bad night (680)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.

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  (401): The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success. http://tfl.nu/2cay
  Replies (2) Good night (1284) Bad night (455)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.

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  (503): Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon. http://tfl.nu/he7t
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (1463)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.

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  (303): Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos. http://tfl.nu/xwgl
  Replies (5) Good night (709) Bad night (449)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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  (360): There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle. http://tfl.nu/htoq
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (346)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Happy Fourth.

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  (843): I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night... (843): Happy Fourth. http://tfl.nu/0uin
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (225)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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  (563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (260)

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