i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I love having hate sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed