Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
