I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
