Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i think my cat just said my name.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
