I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
