The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
