Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
