Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My pussy is not your playground.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
