Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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