How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
