If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My feet surprised me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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