69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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