all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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