my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
