Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
