He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
