that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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