She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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