It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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