Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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