I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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