How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
