he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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