I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize