I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
