who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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