So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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