You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
