It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my sisters under your porch take her home
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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