yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
its liver damage thursday
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
