He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
