in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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