after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
