It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
