Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
