I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
