So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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