whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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