having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
