Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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