Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
