if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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