if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
