idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
