At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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