Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
