it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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