I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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