For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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