Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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