she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
