It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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