We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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