you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
