i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I believe in your delicious
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
